This is an anecdote explaining the manner in which my way of life was rotated along a Y axis until it reached a position roughly 180 degrees from that which it started. If I could have 60 seconds of your time, simply place your posterior in the selected location, and I will relate to you the details of how I was made the male monarch of the district of the City of Los Angeles, California located at coordinates 34.08333 -118.44778. In the western region of the “City of Brotherly Love” known as Philadelphia, my mother expelled me from her womb and indeed that is also where I spent my childhood, in my mother’s care. The majority of my time was spent in a recreational area containing such diversions as a jungle gym, swing set, sand box, etc. I was typically at the height of leisure while frequently at a temperature slightly below what might be considered standard room temperature. Outside of my educational institution I was engaging in a game of basketball with some of my peers, when two gentlemen who seemed to be of the disposition to cause a great deal of mischief began causing a great deal of chaos and disharmony in the area in which I lived. I was involved in one rather small bout of fisticuffs after which my mother became concerned for my general safety and well-being, and she informed me that I would be moving in with her sister and her sister’s husband in the previously mentioned community located at the previously mentioned location. I implored my mother to relent approximately 24-48 hours ago, yet she gathered my belongings in a somewhat flat, rectangular shaped piece of luggage and expelled me from her presence. She placed her lips upon my cheek in an affectionate manner and handed me a pre-purchased pass for public transportation. I placed the headphones for my personal music system into my ears and verbalized the idea that I may as well impact this situation with my foot. Traveling in the highest available level of comfort, this is indeed an unfortunate situation (although I make this statement with some irony). Consuming the juices obtained by the squeezing of the fruit of a Citrus sinensis from a piece of glass stemware commonly reserved for the sipping of sparkling wine originating from the Champagne region of France, I pause to wonder if this is indeed how the residents of the admittedly upper-class neighborhood located at the previously mentioned location commonly live. Indeed, I find this situation may be rather to my enjoyment. I puckered my lips and exhaled forcefully to produce a shrill note in order to gain the attention of a taxicab driver, and as the driver approached I observed his California vanity plate which, in place of the traditional jumble of alpha-numeric characters, used only the letters F, R, E, S, and H, spelling out the word “fresh”. Additionally, from his rear view mirror dangled a pair of oversized, fur-covered cubes decorated to look like the six-sided dice commonly used in gambling and board games. In such a situation I could have made a statement about the unusualness of this particular taxicab to the point of it being nearly unique. Instead I cogitatively decided against it and instead informed the driver that he should deliver me to what was to become my new home in the community located at the previously mentioned location. We pulled up to a large domicile sometime between the hours of 7 and 8 o’clock a.m., and in a loud tone of voice I informed the cab driver that at some undetermined point in the future I would again detect his odour through my sense of olfaction. I gazed about the region of land that I was destined to rule, reflecting on my arrival: Here I would claim my rightful place upon the throne, from which I would govern the previously mentioned community of Bel-Air as monarch.
Soooooooo yesterday, I was talking to a friend about Christianity, particularly about faith. And to be honest, I sometimes forget that the He’s up there with a shoulder to lean on and just try to solve my own problems. I’m religious and all, but it’s inevitable that questions pop up about God every so often. Faith. It’s such an obscure idea, to believe the unseen. As human beings, we want logic and an answer to every question. But sometimes, faith is the only explanation…
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the problem Science has with God. He asked one of his new Christian students to stand.
Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son? Student: Yes, sir. Professor: So, you believe in God? Student: Absolutely, sir. Professor: Is God good? Student: Sure. Professor: Is God ALL-POWERFUL? Student: Yes. Professor: My brother died of cancer, even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is God good, then? Hmm? (Student was silent) Professor: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good? Student: Yes. Professor: Is Satan good? Student: No. Professor: Where does Satan come from? Student: From.. God. Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world? Student: Yes. Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct? Student: Yes. Professor: So who created evil? (Student didn’t answer) Professor: Is there sickness? Immortality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they? Student: Yes, sir. Professor: So, who created them? (Student had no answer) Professor: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son.. have you ever seen God? Student: No, sir. Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your God. Student: No, sir. Professor: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God, for that matter? Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t. Professor: Yet you still believe in Him? Student: Yes. Professor: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, Science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son? Student: Nothing. I only have my Faith. Professor: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as Heat? Professor: Yes. Student: And is there such a thing as Cold? Professor: Yes. Student: No, sir, there isn’t. (The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events) Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of Heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (There was a pon-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre) Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness? Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness? Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, You would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you? Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man? Student: Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed. Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how? Student: Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey? Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes of course, I do. Student: Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir? (The professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going) Student: Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher? (The class was in uproar) Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain? (The class broke out into laughter) Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? .. No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable and Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures? (The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable) Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son. Student: That is it, sir.. exactly. The link between man and God is Faith. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.